The Complete Guide to Her Favorite Spot
Wouldn’t it be great if there was a “magic button” you could press to excite, thrill and completely satisfy her?
Well, there is. It may not be as effortless as that, but it’s very real and just as exciting.
We’re referring, of course, to the clitoris - the main source of her sexual satisfaction and something that you need to get damned well acquainted with (if you want her to ever scream your name, that is).
The clitoris might seem straightforward at first (“Hey, cool! A place to touch during sex that gives her an orgasm sometimes”), but many people are unfamiliar with its true anatomy and/or have the wrong attitude about it. Even respected doctors and scientists have been completely off the mark over the years.
For example, famed psychologist Sigmund Freud popularized the harmful theory that clitoral orgasms were "immature" and only vaginal orgasms from penetration were the “healthy”, “normal” way to go. Wow, nice theory, Freud. Were you on crack or something? Oh wait.
We like to think that we’ve come a long way since those ignorant times, but that may depend on whom you ask. To this day, the clitoris rarely receives the attention that it deserves. Women complain that men can’t find it, mistreat it, or don’t spend nearly enough time on it.
This just won't do.
Sure, there are more action-oriented guides and articles on this site (We’ll even link to some later in this guide), but you’re doing yourself (and her) a major disservice if you don’t take the time to learn the basic anatomy and function of the clitoris. But don’t worry! This won’t be a dry, boring anatomy lesson. The clitoris is amazing and fascinating - as you’ll soon find out.
What is the clitoris for?
The clitoris exists to give her orgasms. That’s it - seriously. With more than eight thousand nerve fibers, it’s the only organ in the human body that exists solely for pleasure (Proof that God is a woman?).
When she becomes sexually aroused, the clitoris fills with blood and increases in size and sensitivity. After orgasm, which causes a dispersal of the accumulated blood, the clitoris will return to its normal size. If she doesn’t have an orgasm, the blood may remain there for a few hours and cause discomfort. This is pretty much the male equivalent of "blue balls", and a painful reminder that you have failed miserably.
Finding the clitoris
Every woman is unique, but the clitoris will almost always be located in the same basic area. (See sidebar presentation) It’s a small, round bud of pink flesh located above the vaginal opening.
The clitoris is covered by a soft fold of tissue called the “clitoral hood”, which protects it from over-stimulation. During arousal, the clitoris will enlarge and the hood may retract to reveal the tip. You can also gently pull back the hood with your fingers to expose the clitoris, but this isn’t always the most effective approach. Some women don’t enjoy direct stimulation, as it can be too intense. Instead they’ll prefer stimulation through the sides or top of the clitoral hood.
The clitoris you can’t see
There’s more to the clitoris than meets the eye. Most people only think about the tip, but it’s actually a complex network of nerves that stretch throughout the vagina and up into the body.
Actually, the much-hyped G-spot is likely to be nothing more than a cluster of clitoral nerves surrounding erectile tissue (sometimes referred to as urethral sponge or female prostate). Sex researchers Masters & Johnson discovered this fact and theorized that all vaginal orgasms are clitoral in origin.
Clitoral sensitivity and lubrication
Clitoral sensitivity varies from woman to woman. Some may prefer a light touch while others may enjoy much more vigorous stimulation. It’s best to start out light and vary your touch depending on the reaction. Nearly all women require a period of “warm-up” time before they enjoy clitoral stimulation.
Don’t touch the clitoris if it isn’t properly lubricated. This can be a turn-off to some women and downright painful for others. Use her natural lubrication, saliva, or a water-based lube.
How to stimulate the clitoris
Starting to understand what the clitoris is and just how important it is to her sexual satisfaction? Here are the ways to use it to your advantage.
- Clitoral orgasms from oral sex
Oral Stimulation, also referred to as oral sex, eating pussy, or cunnilingus, is one of the best and most exciting ways to stimulate the clitoris. Some women even say that it’s the only way they can reach orgasm. Oral Sex & the Clitoris.
- Clitoral orgasms from fingers
While they may not be quite as exciting as cunnilingus, your fingers play an important role for clitoral stimulation - especially during sex and leisurely foreplay. How to Touch the Clitoris.
- Clitoral orgasms from sex toys
Sex toys offer maximum clitoral stimulation with minimum effort. Many are designed specifically with the clitoris in mind. They come in different shapes and sizes, but she’ll probably enjoy all of them. Clitoris & Sex Toys.
- Clitoral orgasms during sex
It’s no secret that many women can’t orgasm through intercourse alone. That’s not a problem if you’re considerate (and have half a brain). Use your fingers or a vibrator to give her that extra boost during sex. There’s also a sex position called the Coital Alignment Technique that allows for plenty of clitoral stimulation. The Clitoris & Sex.
The clitoris is sensitive and sometimes temperamental (like its owner). The clumsy, self-centered, and impatient won’t even come close to unlocking the amazing sensations it’s capable of producing for her. However, a little appreciation, knowledge, and finesse will have her constantly begging for your attentions (and probably bragging to her friends).